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Tuesday, 31 March 2015

I respect men..Its my choice.

Kindly add "My Choice"in your mind  to every sentence I wrote. I feel the word will be a substitute to "Lame" for some days so I don't want to type it.:-) #Mychoice.

I said No Dowry, and men supported it in matrimonial websites. I respect men.
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I have many male friends from work and school who are not sexual offenders or lecherous stalkers. I respect men.

I thank every auto driver or a cabbie who drops me safe at home. I respect men.

I stay in a relation even if it has overwhelming moments, stress and strain sometimes. I respect the relation and honour the promises I make. I respect men.

I am inspired by many male achievers. I respect and learn from men.

I avoid spending on myself for my family's needs at home, just like my fellow women and men,.I love my home. 

I knew a baby would mean delay of my ambitions. Still went ahead. I respect life and my partner's love for kids. What was that in the video about it? More than an option or will, it's responsibility. Kindly don't go on lame about unborn babies for fame in videos as if you aren't responsible for it. It's not a unilateral decision.
If you were to have sex outside marriage, or can love only temporary, and lust forever, it's your choice, or problem rather, please don't try to anoint all womankind with those precious oils of wisdom, do follow it in your own life. We, the ordinary, not famous though depressed women, may not be loose, though we are strong.

Women's liberation does not require immorality, negligence or insensitivity towards others. I always fight for women's rights but condemn treating men like idiots. That will totally defeat the purpose of gender equality.
As a woman I totally agree that we have suffered shabby treatment for ages, but I never support treating others bad. It's a shame that women are raped in this country, but there are infinite number of men who opposed sick views about us. Men are not demons. They are human, and they will support women in all the way they can, sometimes bend backwards to make us happy. 
For every rapist ,there are 1000's who taught a lesson to eve teasers.
For every dowry killer, there are many men who happily sacrifice their needs to treat wife like  a queen.
There are special privileges for us at work place, policies framed by guys.

I respect men and am very proud of it. Its My Choice.


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Part 2- Comparison -The enemy of happiness


Two beggars were looking at a rich man who had 10 crores worth wealth.He hurled abuses at these beggars and walked away.
One consoled another saying "Just asked God to give both of us ten crores each to make us equal to him. God will soon give us."
The other one laughed loudly. When asked the reason for his happiness, he said "With the 100 rupees I have, I will be richer than him with 1 crore 100 rs"!
That is happiness in his comparison :-)

All of us have learnt about the "Keeping up with the Jones's "Syndrome.
Peer pressure...It's every child's nightmare to be compared to the neighbor's kid who scores more.
Couples' fights start with comparing.
A colleague's promotion leads to sick leave by another aspirant.
From IITs and IIMs to local chai dukaan, comparison exists everywhere.
First we ignore it, slowly, it gets a plush leather sofa in our minds, leaving us restless.

As I mentioned earlier, I was a miserable kid.my family never compared us with any others, but I secretly did,  and belittled myself. I just wanted to make up for all the things I did not have. It made me more sad at the age when I did not have a skill, education or freedom to compete with all.
I slowly came out of that mindset, as a friend said "Every moment you spend on thinking about others, you are taking away from your own life". Back to reality in a sudden break.

Yes, many of us are addicted to comparison, feeling great or bad about it. All we can do is use our minds for our advantage.
Just learn a new aspect from people you compare yourself with. Once focus is shifted to acquiring a new quality, misery subsides.
You will be surprised to see after sometime how you are no longer in that mood to compare yourself or others with anyone in this world.
There will just be learning form the people you envy. Its really wonderful to see great people, telling yourself  "I will soon have his courage" or "I will be fit as her in a month", and doing it.
However competitive this world is, we need to know that we all have a journey of our own called life, all paths are different, but leading to the common goal of being at peace with oneself.
We have been given whatever we need on this journey, provided we plan well and execute those plans.
We have limited options, we cannot change our birth, family, looks, relatives , certain situations etc, none being in our control. But there is no one stopping us from improving ourselves, getting an additional qualification, having more friends, or changing our way of dressing.
God has written the first page of our life, filled some random pages with events, and left many others empty.
Feel free to write whatever you want ,without bothering what others are writing.







The path to happiness.-1 (The truth.)

Hi All,
Its been a really long time.All these days I was getting to hear so many opinions about happiness. From others and myself..
I am speaking only truth about happiness, which comes from my experience of life since the year 2000 as a fifteen year old teenager surrounded by uncertainties of life.
Today I can proudly say i am happy, though did not accumulate any wealth, which I still believe will be mine, soon :-).
"I dont want to be happy, I just want to be great".Priyanka Chopra smartly summed up recently.
That left me pondering.
The truth about happiness.
It will never come to you till you stop chasing it.
Look for it, you will be miserable.
Just give yourself a goal"I will work for my family better", or "I will develop a new hobby or learn new stuff". Happiness comes running to you.
Trust me  .I have been an unhappy child who saw that all her peers were happy. I was always searching for it. I spent many miserable years, lost many opportunities as I was not happy.
Miserable, gloomy, depressed, low, I have seen it all.

 I thought it will be in money, fame, success, love etc..I have tasted some of them, and now I know it has no existence other than what we give it. Its like a baby which has to be brought into existence as an individual from an unknown fetus.

The downside of this Tryst for happiness exists in the form of laziness. I have seen many people(including me) limit themselves saying"I am happy" or "I am unhappy" ignoring some important aspects of life, and repenting later .Please don't let happiness or want for it spoil your future plans.
It will be a great thing if that state of happiness stays forever, but human mind is so complex. It will fill us with regrets as bonus with unhappiness sometimes.
It made me realize that however big or small our goals are, we should never stop working on what we want with excuses of being happy or unhappy.

I have seen very successful people from close. They are happy to travel in a bus as they are in a plane. They are happy and not complaining even working in rural areas with no amenities, though they live in super luxurious homes.
I close it with a conclusion from my experience. The happiest people do not actually have the happiest life. They have just chosen to be happy, no matter what.